The Stories We Tell Ourselves

I’ve recently integrated a profound truth: our brains do not distinguish between past, present, future, fact, or fiction. 

I’ve also learned that what I focus my attention on, grows. This is the universal law that explains why, after buying a new car, we suddenly start seeing that same make & model everywhere. For me, this realization has been validation; proof that I’m in alignment with my purpose. 

I value authentic connection, humanity, energy, love, peace, and freedom. Over the last several months, I have been growing my business and its signature offering; Living Memory Gatherings©. 

LMGs are centered around belonging, connection, vulnerability, and authenticity. They’re grounded in the oral traditions of my people, which are about reinforcing relationships between the younger and the older generations, the individual person as well as the collective. The oral tradition of storytelling has always been about relationship: with one another, and with our responsibility to be good ancestors ourselves. 

Because I’ve been fully immersed in this work, my brain has begun recognizing others who speak the same language of storytelling, community, connection, etc. Throughout my days, I hear words that mirror my own, and I see this as the gift that it is.

Now, let’s return to that first truth–our brains do not distinguish between past, present, future, fact, or fiction. 

That means the stories we tell ourselves…about ourselves and others, create feedback loops. We highlight and relive the same narratives, the same emotions, and, in doing so, invite more of those experiences into our lives.

This was my story: 

I was a DEI practitioner, who worked at an institution of higher education for much of my professional career (thus far). For that entire time, I was not paid equitably and I have the receipts. I poured myself into my role, consistently excelling and growing professionally and I have the receipts. I built a strong network of colleagues I valued and wanted to see win and I have the receipts. 

They overlooked, undervalued, and/or ignored my talents, abilities, gifts, intelligence, drive, courage, adaptability, and know-how. Unfortunately, I have those receipts as well. 

In the end, they decided that I was disposable. 

But how would it serve me to continue to tell that story? It wouldn’t! 

This is my story today:

I am whole and always have been. I never needed my employer’s validation for anything. I only needed to recognize my own worth and set the boundary that I will no longer accept being undervalued. I will simply remove myself. 

I know who I am and what I stand for! 

It took about 2 ½ years of talk therapy (thank you to my amazing therapist; Cheryl Jefferson), float therapy, meditation, and journaling for dep healing to take root. 

There is enough for us all to win, as long as we are following our heart's passions. As I focus on remaining centered and grounded in my character, I will attract others of like-focus. I walk a path that is led by the bread crumbs that I am (now) awake enough to notice and pick-up.    

So, soon after leaving that institution, I began working for Malaika! 

I now value my own gifts: my talents, my intelligence, my creativity, and am thriving as I watch them expand day by day. 

I am thankful that my position in DEI was eliminated, because it pushed me off the cliff I was too afraid to jump from. And when I fell, thank God, the net appeared. 

I landed safely (held, supported) and now, I have been propelled into my highest timeline!